Have you ever just sat down with that close friend in your life and just let all things go, tell them all your secrets and not hold back? It's so refreshing, am I right. When everything is finally out there in the air, it’s during this time that I can finally feel like I can breathe! In reality,, none of my “problems” were solved. Actually, these problems are now just exposed as floating, stagnant energy between two fleshy humans.
If your counterpart is a healthy human, like mine; healthy as in, one who has done extensive inner work within their own being. These individuals have the privilege and the know-how to allow the words to flow from me to them, without any attached emotions. Instead they are able to place my words and emotions into a sample platter that they have personally categorized at an arm's reach away from their own heart, which then allows them to be both empathic and objective.
On their platter, some of my stuff will sit in the pissed off space, a little bit extra will sit in guilt and shame, and the rest can most likely go to the “other” pile that is reserved for witty jokes that mask grief and truth telling. My healthy friend (and I have several) know that they can save that information for another day; because later, they will bring it back to me as compassion and validation when the grief and the truth telling finally make their way to the surface of my being.
That’s when you know you have a healthy relationship, when this friend dedicates a specific platter that is already assigned with your name on it.
The moment I have the privilege to sit down with this friend they are prepared to listen with non-judgment and unconditional love. (Thank you)
These friends are great to have around, but they do not make your problems go away, nor is it their job to do so. The actual “fixing and solving” is what the inner work is made up of. They just provide a safe space to verbally process the emotions attached to your feelings, with care they help bring awareness to our triggers and they give compassionate feedback when necessary. All that to say, they, these types of friends, leave the extensive inner work up to you, or in this case, me. And how fortunate are we who have these types of friends.
Fast forward to the next day, once again with my vulnerable hangover with all those exposed and floating energetic problems slapping back into my face like a big sticky, pink bubble of bubblicious bubble gum, that has popped all over my face. And within the stillness of my home that was once radiant with laughter and warmth of two energetic bodies with matching high frequencies. Now, I feel cold, alone with a heavier heart than I had before the lightness of enlightening conversations.
This is when I know, it's time to start the work.
Healing begins with me.